The Road Converges

The End

2009-03-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

I guess this is it. A few months ago, I wrote this blog as a simple tracklist mainly for me to keep track of things on my journey in getting married.

Hari Ahad ni, genaplah 2 minggu sudah aku bergelar suami. Alhamdulillah, segala perancangan yang di-layoutkan sejak awal dapat dilaksanakan dengan jaya dan lancar. Of course, memang ada times yang pening kepala dan sakit hati. But in the end - it's the journey that counts. Pengalaman yang cukup berharga. Lega rasanya dah manage to get it all over with.

Before I leave though, here's my last piece of advice for those husband wannabes - silalah spend your first night kat rumah mertua, jangan kasi dorang kecik ati plaks (a lesson I learned first hand..hahaha.)

Selamat berkahwin!

Together at Last

2009-03-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

At last, we're finally tied the knot.

Currently we're busy preparing for a lot of stuff. Cleaning the house and all that.

For now though, here are some pics from our photographer Shasmanizam.

Perkahwinan Hafidz dan Amatullah

The Week Before The Wedding

2009-03-01T10:10:00.000-08:00

It's approximately one week until our nikah ceremony.

Just imagine..just one week from now, we'll be known as husband and wife. No longer living alone, with our family and friends - just us the two of us, for life, for better, for worse.

Hard to imagine isn't it? I mean it's not like moving into a new place or anything, it's basically changing your life. I mean how huge is that?

Hahahaha...mind boggling indeed.

So far the preparation has been okay. Tiring, but okay. I'm not sure what's going on her side, but on our side I would say things has been going on as planned - or at least we do not seem to be doing things in a hasty manner. The last week I was able to help mom with the door gifts and such - before that I was practically drowning in the DiGi projects. I guess these couple of days I have been able to ease up a bit on the late nights. Earlier this morning me and mom was up and about cleaning my room so that it could be dust-free. Got the new curtains up, put on a new carpet for the room. It does look nicer now I would say. :)

7 days and counting...

Inviting people

2009-02-21T06:26:00.000-08:00

These few days I was busy letting other people know that I'm getting married.

Luckily there's facebook. And mailing lists. And SMS. Surely without the technological advances of today I would have to plan like a year in advance just to get all of those addresses.

So basically I was spamming the mailing lists all week long. Heck I've even made a blog about me getting married. Listed down my wishlist, and posted up a scanned version of my invitation card so that other people can get to see the needed info should they did not receive any card from me (in case your wondering, it's hafidzgetsmarried.blogspot.com)

Tomorrow I'll be moving my earlier bought IKEA furnitures from my sister's house in Kepong to my mom's house (where I'll be staying) in Sepang.

Baby steps all the way...taking it one at a time.

The Last Borang

2009-02-02T08:47:00.001-08:00

After the day with the tok kadi - today I went to JAIS (PAID) with my fiancee to submit the whole filled-out forms and certs.

They sure took their time with that. Had to wait like an hour or so for them to process it. In any case, later they gave me a new form which I had to fill in and give to the tok kadi, to be used later in the nikah ceremony later in the 8th of March.

The last form. Wow..finally.

Later that day I went to the tok kadi's place. Had a chat with him too. A lengthy sort of chat. Talked about his days back when he was in the workforce, his son, tajwid, his current day job... I guess the guy is a friendly bloke when/if you want to get to know him.

I can feel the countdown now~

Berjumpa tok kadi

2009-01-31T06:19:00.000-08:00

Semalam went to the jurunikah (aka tok kadi) place to attain his signature (and complete the Borang Kebenaran Berkahwin).

Went there with two of my close friends, Ady and Symofz.

My fiancee also went there. With her dad. And two of his friends.

So anyway I thought at first it's just gonna be a "I'll just take your signature and leave" kinda jig. Turned out I was wrong. The tok kadi went and asked me some religious-related questions and suffice to say I was slaughtered then and there.

Terkial-kial nak jawab soalan simple. When I think back about it, the answer is quite simple and straightforward. Maybe it's the moment, the pressure you put on yourself.

Kelakar gile, budak2 (Symofz and Ady) pun cuak gaks. Hehe. Nasib ade geng, bley distribute ke-cuakan. Thanks for coming guys.

Anyway, after it's all signed and done, all that's left is for us (me and Amat) to give the forms to JAIS, and return some other form (provided later by JAIS) to the tok kadi.

Banyak gile borangkan?

The Checklist - part 4

2009-01-16T21:09:00.000-08:00

Updates.

The Checklist

1. Book Dewan (my side)
Sent a letter to the Director of Politeknik Shah Alam. I think we'll be having it there (my side). For her's, I think we'll have it at Dewan Bukit Subang.

2. Book tok kadi
Responsibility of her family.

3. Book masjid
Responsibility of her family.

4. Medical check-up
Done the HIV check up last week. Had to spend like 2 hours for it. The procedure itself is actually quite short, and the result should be instantaneous. But apparently they don't value time as much as I do. Friendly people though, the staff.

5. Hantaran
Done.

6. The ring
Done.

7. Pakaian pengantin
Done.

8. Mak Andam
Done. Found one near TTDIJ, the shoplot beside Geylang Kopitiam. Go Kak Ayu!

9. Kad kahwin
Printing period.

10. Wedding photographer
Done. All that's left is for him to come here on the agreed date and shoot away.

11. Door gifts
I think my mom and sis are handling right now. Sometimes I feel quite left out of my own wedding. Hahaha~

12. After-wedding Get-Away.
Booked tickets to Padang, Indonesia. Costs us around RM800++. We're planning to stay at Bukit Tinggi for a couple of nights and later at Padang for the rest of the trip (of 5 days/night). Total cash spent should be around RM2000.

Borang-borang

2009-01-16T20:58:00.000-08:00

The last couple of weeks has been rather productive indeed.

So far my fiancee has finished decorating her hantaran, we have already gotten ourselves the relevant forms from JAIS, and are currently busy filling it up.

I mean filling it up is actually quite easy, but the fact that we have to go here and there to get signatures from other people that makes it quite a troublesome feat, with our work life and all.

So far I've finished most of my part, borang pengesahan permastautin (since I'm from KL), the HIV form (had to wait a looooooong time for the results to come out), and surat akuan bujang.

The only one that's left is meeting up with the jurunikah to get his signatures. Have to also get 2 witnesses in order to do that.

We've already booked our a flight to and fro Padang, Indonesia for our holiday. It was actually quite easy to book a flight - thanks to Maybank2U.

Slowly I'm changing my financial life too - trying to go all-out into Islamic Banking instead of the conventional one. Done that with my savings account. Next would be my ASB. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Well I guess in the end we're all just looking for "keredhaan Allah".

Permohonan Berkahwin bagi Pihak Lelaki

2008-12-30T07:49:00.000-08:00

I kinda stumbled upon this while searching for the whereabouts of JAIS office. Useful stuff.

PROSEDUR PERMOHONAN NIKAH (LELAKI)

HADIR KURSUS PRA PERKAHWINAN
DAPATKAN BORANG 1A DI JAIS/ PAID (Pejabat Agama Islam Daerah)
DAPATKAN BORANG PEMERIKSAAN UJIAN DARAH/ HIV DENGAN BAYARAN RM 10.00 DARI BAHAGIAN PERUNDANGAN KELUARGA JAIS ATAU PEJABAT AGAMA ISLAM DAERAH.
LENGKAPKAN BORANG DAN LAMPIRKAN DOKUMEN SOKONGAN (3 BULAN SEBELUM AKAD NIKAH)
DAPATKAN PENGESAHAN PENOLONG PENDAFTAR NIKAH QARIAH
DAPATKAN KEBENARAN BERKAHWIN DARI PEJABAT AGAMA ISLAM DAERAH (PAID)
SERAHKAN KEBENARAN KEPADA PIHAK PEREMPUAN

DOKUMEN SOKONGAN YANG DIPERLUKAN

SALINAN KAD PENGENALAN / PASSPORT(Jika pemohon warganegara asing)
SALINAN KAD PENGENALAN 2 ORANG SAKSI/ PASSPORT (Jika saksi warganegara asing)
SALINAN SIJIL KURSUS PRA PERKAHWINAN (Diiktiraf oleh JAKIM/ JAIS/ JAWI/ JAIN)
BORANG LAPORAN PEMERIKSAAN UJIAN DARAH/ HIV YANG TELAH DIPERAKUKAN OLEH PIHAK KLINIK KESIHATAN KECIL KERAJAAN YANG TERPILIH SAHAJA.
SALINAN BORANG PERMOHONAN 1A (Jika pemohon nikah luar daerah/ Negeri/ Negara)
SURAT PENGESAHAN MASTAUTIN PEMOHON DARIPADA PENGHULU/ KETUA KAMPUNG/ NAZIR MASJID/ PENGERUSI JKKK/ PENGERUSI JAWATANKUASA PENDUDUK TAMAN PERUMAHAN
SURAT PERAKUAN CERAI/ KEMATIAN PASANGAN DAN SALINANNYA. (Jika pemohon duda)
SURAT ATAU KAD PERAKUAN ISLAM DAN SALINANNYA. (Jika pemohon Saudara Baru)SURAT KELULUSAN DARI KAGAT/ PDRM. (Jika pemohon anggota Tentera/ Polis)
SURAT KEBENARAN BERKAHWIN DARIPADA KONSULAT ATAU KEDUTAAN ATAU IMEGRESEN. (Jika pemohon warganegara asing)

For more info you can guys can go here.

The Checklist - part 3

2008-12-20T07:40:00.000-08:00

Another update.

The Checklist

1. Book Dewan (my side)
Not done yet. The new director there is none other then my previous headmistress back when I was at SMK Teknik Bukit Piatu. Talk about co-incidence huh?

2. Book tok kadi
Responsibility of her family.

3. Book masjid
Responsibility of her family.

4. Medical check-up
Not done yet. Check for HIV and talasemia.

5. Hantaran
Status is all done! All but a Quran. My grandma has already got her a telekung. My mom has too. So things are a bit complicated there it seems~

6. The ring
Not done yet. This one might be tricky~ Allocated budget is around RM 1000. (the budget has to be slashed a bit)

7. Pakaian pengantin
Done on both sides. We both have got our baju pengantin tailor made during the last few weeks. She still hasn't got her veil and a proper tudung yet though. I might just be wearing a songkok.

8. Mak Andam
Not done yet.

9. Kad kahwin
It has been decided that both family will each have their own invitation cards. The dates are set. The venues however, are still to be decided upon.

10. Wedding photographer
Done. All that's left is for him to come here on the agreed date and shoot away.

11. Door gifts
Not done yet. Still have no idea.

12. (New!) After-wedding Get-Away.
Thinking off going to Bukit Tinggi, Indonesia. The plan is to hitch a ride to Padang via Air-Asia, hop on a taxi to Bukit Tinggi, and enjoy the scenes there for a couple of day before heading back to Padang and taking a flight home. Estimated expenditures is around RM2000++. Still trying to conjure up the exact figures.

A New Hunt

2008-12-13T12:37:00.000-08:00

Akhirnya, habis jugak aku beli barang-barang hantaran.

Shopping sakan kitorang hari ni. Singgah pi Ikano Power Centre pagi tadi. Took the time to take my fuel rebate at the post office. Later had breakfast at Uncle Lim's.

Neway, I spent about RM600~ today. Beli handbag Sembonia and Salvatore Ferragamo perfume. Tak pnah aku dengar name perfume tu, tapi bau die kire OK la, not too fruity, not too caramelly (bau perfume hugo mane tah..). Si Dia plak abes nak dkat RM900!! Coz dia kene beli 3 item. Hehe~ Aku dapat kasut Bonia, perfume Dunhill, belt Alain Delon and wallet Pierre Balmain (wallet and belt kire 1 item).

So abes dah..peh ni carik cincin plaks.

In hindsight maybe kitorang patut pgi tempat2 cam Sogo tuk beli bende2 tuh (kitorang bli kat The Curve and One Utama). Dunno how much we lost there, mungkin banyak. Tahlah. But pkir2 balik, dengan nak masuk ke KL nye, weekend lagi, nak cari parking, dgn kemungkinan jalan air naik due to hujan ribut petir sabung menyabung, kempen marilah bogel REFORMIS lagi..( OK, so I just HAD to mention that...), in my opinion takpelah biarlah aku bayar lebih sket dari aku buang masa menghadap bende2 merepek tuh.

So anyhow, I guess the next hunt begins.

One ring that binds them, one ring that rules them all (read "ring for a wife who'll torment her husband forever").

Ahh..so the colour is set already?

2008-11-08T08:01:00.000-08:00

Finally, we have got something moving.

Just a couple of hours ago we (me, amat, dad, mom, sis, afthal, qilah and aqeel) went to Gulati at SACC Mall. Prior to that, me and my fiancee went there earlier to have a look at offerings they got there.

Wa liao! Rm 3k per meter for some fancy french lace!! Who in the world would have that kind of money to pay for that. (maybe some Datin "could" I suppose..)

Anyways, later that night we got what we wanted. Some satin and lace for our (meaning my family) side's reception.

You don't know how relieved I am with this development. I mean finally can we (me and my fiancee) stop arguing about the choice of colour and what not (we chose green by the way). Next step, send it to the tailor.

The price? Owh..you wouldn't wanna know. Suffice to say that it's gonna set me back for quite some time after I got the whole 'nikah' thing done.

Ahh! And what do you know...I've just bought her a pair of shoe along the way. One more hantaran down on the list! Yeah!!!

Pakaian

2008-10-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

This part is actually harder than it sounds. I mean how hard can it be right? Just choose what you wanna wear la, ape susah?

The choosing part, my friend - is.

There's so many colours, so many designs, and on top of that, you can also get it done by someone or you could rent it.

Packages? Tukang mekap?

Tema kaler untuk family??

At times I wish we could just get on a plane and be married elsewhere - you know like overseas students always do. Short and simple.

Huhu~

The Checklist - part 2

2008-10-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

The update!

The Checklist

1. Book Dewan (my side)
Not done yet. So far the place I have in mind right now is the hall in Politeknik Shah Alam. But with the Politeknik not having any Director yet...I wonder if my request would ever be entertained.

2. Book tok kadi
Responsibility of her family.

3. Book masjid
Responsibility of her family.

4. Medical check-up
Not done yet. Check for HIV and talasemia.

5. Hantaran
Got her an Esprit watch!.
Status is 1 out of 5. Allocated budget per item is around RM300/each.
The hantaran money saved so far should be more or less around RM4k as of now (out of RM7k needed).

6. The ring
Not done yet. This one might be tricky~ Allocated budget is around RM 1500.

7. Pakaian pengantin
Not done yet. We're thinking of buying just some "kain" and send it to "tempah". One suit for the nikah and her kenduri, and one for my side. Hurm~

8. Mak Andam
Not done yet.

9. Kad kahwin
50% done. Dad has confirmed that his friend will be doing it. Awaiting news from Amat's dad on whether we should do it together or separate. Dates and venues are still pending.

10. Wedding photographer
50% done. The 10% cash has been deposited into his account.

11. Door gifts
Not done yet. Has no idea.

The day gets nearer

2008-10-18T06:14:00.000-07:00

Sometime after the raya (which was quite a while ago I might add) we (me and my parents) went to her house to "beraya" and discuss about the date for the "nikah" ceremony to be held, along with the consequent "kenduri" or reception dates for both sides of the family.

So after a brief discussion, we came to agree on a date.

8th March 2009 for the "nikah" and "kenduri" on her side.

14th March for the "kenduri" on our side.

Throughout the trip I was quite the shy guy. Damn quiet. I only spoke out when spoken to, or when I felt that I had to talk to voice out my opinion. There wasn't such thing as small talk for me at that moment. Hahaha..FYI that's actually the first time I ever spent time with their family.

Anywho, after the date of them events has been agreed on, now comes the next part - invitation cards. We both (as in the two family) had agreed to take it upon ourselves to each design our own cards for our respective reception. OKla kot. I see no harm in that.

Last week I got my fiancee an Esprit watch for her hantaran. I guess that's 1 out of 5 for now.

The Checklist

2008-09-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

In this post I'll be listing down my list of to-do things. I'll be editing this post every now and then whenever I feel progress has been made or if there's anything worth mentioning about.

The Checklist

1. Book Dewan

Not done yet. So far the place I have in mind right now is the hall in Politeknik Shah Alam. But with the Politeknik not having any Director yet...I wonder if my request would ever be entertained.

2. Book tok kadi

Not done yet.

3. Book masjid

Not done yet. Gonna be done along with the tok kadi thingy.

4. Medical check-up

Not done yet. Check for HIV and talasemia.

5. Hantaran

Haven't bought anything yet. Status is 0 out of 5. Allocated budget per item is around RM300/each.

6. The ring

Not done yet. This one might be tricky~ Allocated budget is around RM 1500.

7. Pakaian pengantin

Not done yet. Will have a look see around Subang area after the Eid-ul Fitr.

8. Mak Andam

Not done yet. We'll see if the mak andam comes with the pakaian pengantin as a package..

9. Kad kahwin

20% done. Dad has confirmed that his friend will be doing it. Awaiting news from Amat's dad on whether we should do it together or separate. Dates and venues are still pending.

10. Wedding photographer

30% done. A guy from Kuantan has been booked (Shasmanizam). Still need to deposit some cash to ensure his appearance.

11. Door gifts

Not done yet. Has no idea.

Taking Baby Steps (2)

2008-09-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

So then I worked. Got a job paying RM2+++. Not too shabby la.. managed to save up to RM700 per month. Other than that, I have to pay for my car loan, and ASB loan. Managed to fork out some for my parents too.

After two month of work, I managed to save up some extra cash to buy her a ring for our engagement. It wasn't much, just a white gold, single diamond type ring. Price was not that expensive la..but I would not share it with you guys still..hehe.

Anyway, we didn't actually plan to get engaged that early. Things just sorta got out of hand (luckily) when my dad found out that I've already gotten a ring. So not too long after that, he decided (with my uncles and grandma) to head to her house and meet up with her parents and make it official (bertunang).

It wasn't a big ceremony...just more or less like a 'get to know' one another family sorta thing. Bawak la sket hadiah and kek and all that. And she pun ade la balas sket. Nothing expensive. Buah-buahan and coklat je.

Simple.

After that nothing much has progressed. Me, i'm still saving up my salary to cater for her duit hantaran; whilst making sure I can save something extra to buy her other hantaran. So far I haven't buy any, but gotta start buying soon though.

Recently we have agreed to get a weeding photographer worth RM1800. Some say it's expensive. Well..frankly I think so too. I've chatted with one of my photography enthusiast friend, ask her about whether the price is worth it or not for the package that the guy (shasmanizam.fotopages.com) is offering. She later says that it's OK - much to my surprise (actually I was hoping inside for her to say that, haha..).

Upon hearing that I was quite lega la. If an expert says it OK..then OK la kot kan?

Now how am I suppose to pay for all of that..hurm~

Taking Baby Steps (1)

2008-09-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

We've been together for more then 4 years now. That's like the majority of my undergrad years if you can imagine. That's a really..really long time if you know what I mean. Yet at times it felt just like yesterday.

People usually come up to me and ask,

"How old are you?"

And I'm like, "23 lah..".

"La..mudenye lagi.. nak kawen awal-awal nak buat ape.."

Yeah. True. You can say that I'm young and all. But when you've stayed together for that many years - you might wanna reconsider your status as a bachelor and might go through with it (read getting married).

I mean why not? Right?

Some of my friends said that they'd want to enjoy life first, get this, and buy that - live their lives to the fullest so to speak. I guess I'm kinda unfortunate (owh really?) to have no desires for those things. I mean I do like travelling and stuff, but I'm like..I can do that with wife too right?

Some says that they're not ready for commitment just yet. They're not matured yet. To those bunch of people I'd say..well..hope you guys can get mature sooner or later.

Not that it's a bad thing. If they think they're not ready, then chances are - they're not.It's as simple as that. And they are better off being single than married at that moment.

I guess it all depends on the individual. There is no right or wrong age to get married. In my opinion, if wanna get married and if you think that you're capable of doing it then by all means go right ahead. Marriage is a serious business after all. All of a sudden the world is not all about you anymore. It's about you, you wife, your dad, your mom, your in-laws, your wife siblings, etc2..

Now I won't be elaborating on the reasons why I chose her and stuff..that would too mushy now would it (and men aren't supposed to show their mushiness to others kan? :P )

But anywho we decided that we'd try to get married as soon as possible. That means securing enough cash so that we can go through the various "phases" and all (read tunang, nikah, kenduri..)

Late last year (while nearing our last semester) we started rolling the ball - we went to the kursus kahwin. It's not a lot - but it's still important. Then later after graduating, I quickly snatched a job and began saving up my salary.

(to be continued...)

Planning A Wedding

2008-09-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

This is like a spin-off of my original blog I could say. At first i'd thought of writing it in my original blog space - but then I thought this topic kinda deserve a section all on it's own - perhaps could even be of some help to some clueless chap out there as I am right now.

Well to get things rolling the first step a guy need is of course a gal (assuming that he's a straight fella lah.)

Then after some period of getting to know one another - comes the next step; proposing or 'bertunang'.

Okay..I admit that I'm getting way ahead of myself here..maybe it's because that there's actually a lot of stuff that need to be said with so little time (it's 12:35am..i'm supposed to be asleep right now..).

I'll write more in detail later. Gotta get some sleep for now.

Salam.